Thursday, March 4, 2010

Why do 75% of my dreams involve attempted (or successful) murder?

A few weeks ago during the lunch break, one of the ladies mentioned that she had had the 'weirdest' dream the night before. It took almost everything in me to stifle the laugh as I thought to myself "Lady, you don't know from weird". I provided them with the following example of a recent dream of mine:

Earth was being invaded by some foreign species. Their primary method of attack? Altering the water so that anytime a human touched it, they turned into an octopus. Ultimately, the species ended up dying off because we couldn't drink water, and we couldn't water crops or use any water in any food or beverage products. Score one for the aliens. Also? Score one for me since the looks on their faces provided all the evidence I needed to tell me that I "won" the 'who's the biggest nutjob' contest.

Last night I had a dream that a religious old man was chasing my friend K's friend J and her four kids. We were in a densely populated area - there were lots of people around celebrating, and J kept trying to lose the old man in the large crowds, but nothing would work. So I kept trying to help her out by blocking the old man or trying to distract him, etc...and that's when he started getting violent and aggressive. This is also around the time one of the characters from "Ghost Whisperer" arrived, and her ultimate role apparently was to help...BY CUTTING UP THE OLD MAN WITH A CHAINSAW (which she did successfully I might add).

Other dreams worth mentioning:

I was standing in a residential bathroom with some people (which residence I don't know, and which people I don't know....but don't worry, no one was peeing). To my left in the dream was the bathtub which was partially full, and in walks my cat Bella. She walks right over to the tub, hops up on the ledge, and makes her way into the water. In reality, my cat loves to play with streams of water, but only on her terms, and never a tub of water...only the dribble that comes out of the faucet. So anyways, in my dream, she goes completely under the water and just sits there looking up at me, all calm. She's got a heavy blink going, and that's when I realize her eyes are more human than cat - you can see the whites around her irises. She seems to be almost in a trance, when I notice the whites in her eyes are turning a little pinkish, and suddenly from the top down they start turning blood-red. I freak out and pull her out of the water, and suddenly her eyes are back to her normal feline eyes. When I'm assured that she's okay, I set her back down on the bathroom floor, and she resumes her spot back in the tub, under the water, looking at me with sleepy round human eyes. The same thing happens again with the blood red colouring, and this time when I scream and pull her out Ryan comes running into the bathroom to ask what's wrong. I explained what had happened to which he replied
"Uh, I hate when she does that."
Me: You've seen her do this before?
Ryan: Yeah, she climbs in the water and tunes into radio stations. Her eyes do the red thing when she tunes into BX93.

As a child I had a recurring dream where I was in the pipes leading to the furnace...but I was greatly misinformed about what a furnace actually was, and in my dream it was just a controlled fire in the pipes. Anyways, I was on one side of this fire, and my mom was on the other and we were shouting back and forth to each other when suddenly her eyes and the patch of skin running between and to each side of her eyes just came floating through the fire. Thinking back, it totally freaks my freak.

Another recurring childhood dream I can envision vividly, the dining room chairs and the toilet came alive and were trying to eat me.

I think this is accurate:

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Last night I dreamt that Dan Akroyd enlisted me to help with some undercover sting operation. I would have to lie in some coffin-like box while listening to the bad guys and gathering information. I was worried I would have to pee while undercover, so I was issue with an adult diaper/pee cup.