Sunday, February 7, 2010

Welcome to my New Home

Welcome welcome one and all! As you can see I have transferred my blog from the diaryland site to well...here. Diaryland is another 3rd party service provider where I started my blogging, but honestly, the relationship just wasn't working out for me. Diaryland couldn't give me what I wanted, what I needed. I'd say 'c'mon baby...you know how I like it", and diaryland would say "uh, no I don't." and roll over and fall asleep. Basically, Diaryland was a proverbial cock tease and so I've moved on to a service provider that appears to put out more. The first few posts will undoubtedly be representative of a first date where we're just starting to get to know each other...and so essentially, awkward. But please bare with me.

Similar to when I started my site at diaryland, I feel as though I need to clear something up for anyone who stumbles across this page. My name is "LoonyBin"...but I must assure you all that I'm not certifiably loony, nor have I ever been. (although some people who know me may choose to debate this last statement). Mental institutions are a foreign environment for me, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this fact holds true until I'm at least 45 indefinitely. The name actually stems from a childhood nickname with a monetary meaning (loonie - the Canadian dollar), but turned into a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy as admittedly, sometimes my thoughts and throught processes are a little questionable. I believe what I write here will be sufficient proof of that over time, but I'll try to not let it all out at once.

So last night at a house party we got a little too wild and broke out the Loaded Questions which quickly turned into "give the most perverse and distrubing answer you could think of". Unsurprisingly, it appears as though the most disturbing answer of the night award went to yours truly, but I'm hesitant to post what it was on here because I'm sure the Feds would totally have me flagged for it. Seriously. In a separate question altogether that asked something animal related, my response was "Tapir - because of it's freaky long, jointed penis". Nobody knew what the hell I was talking about. And so, because of this, I am going to educate you all on the Tapir - and by educate, I mean show you pictures of the greatly-endowed beast that has received next to no attention for his 'gift'.

An image of the Tapir before being turned
on. Nothing too special, right?


No shit you guys - that thing is touching
the ground.


I am petitioning that we change the term from "hung like a horse" to "hung like a tapir", because honestly, this is not too impressive anymore. Who's with me? Please feel free to leave comments about other well-endowed animals that we should all be familiar with and idolizing.

One of the questions asked last night was something to the effect of what reward would you offer employees to motivate them to do a good job. Answers included, motorboating, paying for prostitutes, sex with the boss, etc. My husband's employer? Not on the same page...





This was Ryan's reward for kickin' ass and taking names. Seriously, the guy rocks at his job and this was his reward. His Christmas bonus this year? Was a revised commission rate so he still had to work his ass off for that. I think I know what a certain someone will be getting for Christmas this year!







NOTE: Opinions expressed in this post are a true representation of reality solely those of the blogger and not of the blogger's husband.

4 comments:

Annette said...

Hey Loony, too effin funny!!! Never even heard of that animal but I will try my best to reference it at least once a day! Bahahahaha

Love Nanan
xoxo

Sharon Blaxall said...

It has become the highlight of my day to read your comments. I thought that I knew you pretty well, but it seems there are many more twists and turns in that brain of yours than I expected - not at all a bad thing!
Love you!
Sharon

Jim said...

The father-in-law is not scared. Maybe a little wary. Maybe has some trepidation now that the truth of my only son's wife is out there. OK, I'm scared. Love u Lynds, honest!!

Kelly said...

Lynds, you crack me up and I love getting to know you better this way... xoxo