Wednesday, November 2, 2011

No hunny, you can't go to the exotic massage parlor

I am constantly hearing stories from other women and complete strangers that marriage is the pits, and men are generally the cause.  My husband seems to (so far) be the exception to a lot of rules, and I am truly thankful for that.
There are times though, when he'll say something to make me question how much of (or at least what kind of) an exception he really is. 

For example:

The last two and a half months I've been driving him to work in the mornings and picking him up at the end of the workday.  His work site is located about 200ft away from an ethanol plant with multiple silos the size of large office buildings, each filled with an alarming volume of flammable liquid.  Apparently, this went unnoticed by him until quite recently when on our morning drive he proclaimed "Huh - that is a large ethanol plant right by my work.  If that thing blows up, I'm a goner.".  I was concerned by the alarm in his voice as it indicated this may have been his first time even noticing the giant combustible building we had driven past nearly a hundred times already.  It took me a while, but I eventually realized what may have had his brain so occupied that he was oblivious to his daily proximity to the ethanol plant.  A little further down the street is a strip club, which was no surprise to us at the time.  What was surprising though was the discovery of the "exotic massage parlor" which is located right next door.  What was even more surprising was the fact that he didn't get whip-lash when saying "Yeah??!?!?!" and suddenly craning his neck in an unnatural direction to confirm the existence of the rub-n-tug after we drove by.  I'm secretly wondering if by the time we get to the ethanol plant he's so focused on trying to come up with viable excuses to have the car (and thus freedom to make a stop on the way home) that he's never actually noticed the plant. 
Hunny - if you're reading this?  The answer is no.